Those who have particular tastes when it comes to sex often identify as "kinky" or as "fetishists." But these two words actually have significantly different meanings and shouldn't be used interchangeably. A man would do well to know what his sexual desires and preference are, since a gratifying sex life is imperative to overall physical, mental and penile health. Here, men can learn how to identify their tastes as either sexual fetishes or kinks, as well as some tips for communicating desires to partners and fulfilling them safely.



Fetishes



A fetish is chiefly characterized by the fact that the individual needs something - whether during the sexual act or simply in his imagination - in order to get off. That thing is often either an object or a body part. Feet, leather and heels are common fetishes. A man may need, for example, to be in contact with feet, to be looking at them or at least to be picturing them in order to achieve sexual gratification.







Many people have fetishes, so they aren't exactly abnormal. And, generally, they are not unhealthy. There are some more bizarre fetishes, such as wearing diapers and acting like an infant, attraction to teddy bears and the idea of being swallowed by someone whole or devouring another whole. These may be a bit harder to sell to a partner, but may be perfectly harmless.



There are some fetishes that can get people into trouble along with harming others if they are put into practice. These include frotteurism, or rubbing up against someone without their consent for sexual stimulation, attraction to animals and arousal by inflicting pain on animals. Acting out these fantasies would be illegal and immoral. People with such fetishes must rely on imagination or the creation of scenarios with a consenting individual that approximate the experience that entices them. Seeking therapy may help individuals safely manage these fetishes.



Since the fulfillment of a fetish, either in mind or in action, is necessary for a person to experience sexual release, it's important to find partners who are open to them. Unfortunately, many individuals feel shame surrounding their fetishes. Bringing one up to a partner only to be met with derision, disgust or fear is not good for anyone. There are many online communities, such as FetLife, where people can connect with others in an open, honest environment friendly to fetishes both typical and further off the beaten path.



Kinks



Unlike a fetish, a kink is something that a person enjoys very much sexually, but that the person doesn't need in order to achieve sexual satisfaction. Some kinks may have the same objects as fetishes, such as leather or feet, but the desire is less intense. Acts like hair pulling, spanking, dirty talk and consenting voyeurism or exhibitionism are other examples of kinks.



Though the fulfillment of a man's kinks is not necessary for sexual satisfaction, he may find them important enough to merit seeking out a partner open to exploring them. Incorporating one's kinks may be the difference between okay/good sex and fantastic sex, and everyone deserves to have the latter.